Civility, Emotional Intelligence and Effective Apology

The lack of civility among lawyers is a persistent issue, with many attorneys prioritizing aggression over professionalism. This culture of incivility—fueled by competitive pressures, egocentrism, presuming bad faith on the part of others and a win-at-all-costs mentality—leads to unnecessary conflicts, increased stress, and inefficiencies in the legal process. While the courts and bar associations promote civility, enforcement is weak, and bad behavior often goes unchecked.

Learning and practicing Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is an effective way to reduce incivility. EQ allows us to experience our own emotions and those of others without necessarily being subject to them. The practice of EQ allows us to choose to respond, rather than react to emotions.

One application of EQ is effective apology. A well-crafted apology can reduce if not resolve conflict. Conversely, an inartful apology can have the opposite effect, often worse than no apology at all.

In this program, within the context of incivility among lawyers, mediator and functional mindfulness teacher Mark Fingerman will present the basics of EQ and then identify and discuss the elements of an effective and ineffective apology, using examples from public discourse such as "The Slap" at the 2022 Oscars.

The takeaways from this course will be of immediate benefit to those attending in their professional and personal lives.